What do you do when you still believe God is good… but you don’t trust people anymore?
Maybe you’re someone who has quietly decided that love and close relationships just aren’t for you. Not because you don’t want them — but because loving again means putting your heart on the line again.
And you’re not sure you can survive that twice.
This week’s episode is an honest conversation about loving after hurt — and what healing actually requires.
Because here’s the truth:
Hurt not dealt with doesn’t change God… it changes our interpretation of Him.
When we go into emotional survival mode, we cling to whatever feels safe. Like a life raft in the middle of the ocean, we grab onto beliefs that give us control — even if they were born from heartbreak, betrayal, or disappointment.
And without realizing it, pain starts teaching us things.
What lie did your pain teach you? Maybe:
“I’m too much.”
“I have to earn love.”
What did it teach you about God? Maybe:
“God is disappointed in me.”
“God is distant when I’m hurting.”
What did it teach you about people? Maybe:
“Nobody is safe.”
“If I need something, I’ll be abandoned.”
Somewhere along the way, many of us didn’t just experience pain — we identified with it.
We see this in Naomi in the book of Ruth. After devastating loss, she returns home and says, “Don’t call me Naomi… call me Mara,” meaning bitter. She didn’t just acknowledge what happened to her. She let it rename her.
And we do this too.
Instead of saying, “I feel this because of what happened,” we let the wound redefine who we are. We let it reshape how we define love. We let it rewrite what we believe about God.
Maybe what you’ve experienced has made love feel unsafe, controlling, conditional, performative, chaotic, manipulative — and eventually always painful.
Those experiences are real. The impact is real.
But we don’t have to let those beliefs take us captive.
We have to root ourselves in what God’s love actually looks like:
God’s love corrects, but does not degrade.
God’s love convicts, but does not shame.
God’s love is consistent, not chaotic.
God’s love protects; it does not punish.
God’s love does not weaponize Scripture to excuse dysfunction.
If the “love” you experienced does the opposite of what Scripture says love is — it was not God’s best for you.
True healing doesn’t come from minimizing what hurt you.
It comes from bringing every jagged piece to God and letting Him rebuild you.
He promises to replace our heart of stone.
But first — we have to give Him the stone.
It may be uncomfortable. Messy. Slow.
But deep wounds experience deep healing.
And you deserve that healing.
This week on The True North Podcast…
What happens when the people who were supposed to love us are the ones who hurt us?
Continuing in our February series, "Matters of The Heart" this episode explores how trauma can become an identity, why we sometimes spiritualize pain instead of healing it, and how God invites us to bring our wounds to Him honestly—without minimizing what happened or bypassing the process.
If you’ve ever felt like love isn’t safe, trust is too costly, or closeness always leads to pain, this conversation is for you.
Have a great rest of your week and thanks for being here!
Love, Mykah (and Nimbus)
