Stop Living for The Approval of Others

Scripture tells of a king named Saul.

From the very beginning, he lived enslaved to the opinion of others. He hid from his calling, he manipulated God’s instruction to satisfy others, he responded in fear of rejection rather than in confident faith.

And it cost him everything.

Saul was chosen by God to be Israel’s first king in a moment when the people wanted to be like the surrounding nations. Though God warned that a human king would come with cost, He granted their request and selected Saul—a man who looked the part: tall, impressive, and outwardly strong. Yet from the beginning, Saul’s leadership was marked by insecurity rather than confidence in God. When it was time to be publicly presented as king, Saul hid among the baggage, revealing an early fear of exposure and responsibility.

As Saul’s reign progressed, his insecurity began to shape his obedience. In a moment of military pressure, Saul disobeyed God by offering a sacrifice he was not authorized to give because he feared the people would abandon him. This marked a turning point: Saul knew God’s instruction, but fear of losing approval drove him to act outside of obedience. Samuel’s rebuke was sobering—Saul’s kingdom would not endure. From that moment on, Saul increasingly ruled from anxiety rather than trust.

Saul’s downfall fully surfaces in, when God commanded him to completely destroy the Amalekites. Saul partially obeyed, sparing King Agag and the best livestock, then justified his actions as religious sacrifice. When confronted, Saul admitted the true motive behind his disobedience: “I was afraid of the people and so I gave in to them.” Even after God rejected him as king, Saul begged Samuel to publicly honor him before the elders so he would not lose face. His concern remained his reputation, not repentance.

Saul did not lose the kingdom because he lacked ability or opportunity—he lost it because he valued the approval of people more than the authority of God. His reign stands as a warning that obedience diluted by fear is still disobedience, and leadership rooted in insecurity will eventually collapse under the weight of human approval.

Saul reached for the hem of the wrong robe: He was hanging onto the approval of people, to their happiness with him that he lost hold on what he had been called to.

There is a moment in scripture when Jesus was a child. His parents couldn’t find Him and looked and looked. Eventually, they found Him at the temples conversing with teachers. When His parents asked where he had been, Jesus replied:

“Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?”

- Luke 2:49

So many of us get so caught up in the business of others that we ignore our Father’s business. We allow the need to be liked to keep us from truly living loved.

People-pleasing does not have to control us, for the Lord has given us a spirit of power. love and self-control. We don’t have to live ruled by the approval of others, we can live free of those burdens.

What if the thing costing you the most peace isn’t failure—but the need to be liked?

In this episode, we’re unpacking the quiet, often overlooked cost of people-pleasing and how insecurity can slowly shift our focus from peace to pressure. While the desire for connection is part of how God designed us, the problem begins when being liked becomes the place we look for our true identity.

If you’ve ever felt torn between being faithful and being liked, this episode is an invitation to release the weight of approval and return to the security of being truly loved by God.