A few years ago, I was flipping through my passport…
You know how you don’t really think about it while you’re traveling — you’re just trying to catch flights, make connections, find your gate — but then one day you actually look at it?
Stamp after stamp. Country after country. Dates I barely remembered. Seasons of my life marked by tiny squares of ink.
And I remember thinking: This little book tells a story of everywhere I’ve been.
Then the thought hit me:
If my heart had a passport… where would it show I’ve been traveling back to?
Because if I’m honest, there were places I kept revisiting.
Not physical places. Emotional ones.
Old mindsets. Old relationships. Old patterns. Old coping mechanisms. The same insecurities. The same fears. The same need for validation. The same pull toward what felt familiar — even when familiar wasn’t healthy.
I knew I loved Jesus.
I knew I could trust Him.
And yet… there were seasons where I quietly kept going back.
Back to what hurt me.
Back to what drained me.
Back to what whispered, “This is what you deserve.”
Maybe you know that feeling.
It’s like living a double life. Worship on Sunday. Wandering by Wednesday. Promises in the morning. Old patterns by night.
And every time I noticed the “stamp,” I’d think, Why am I here again?
That’s when the words of that old hymn started hitting differently:
“Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it.
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here’s my heart, Lord — take and seal it.
Seal it for Thy courts above.”
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Not fix.
Not shame.
Not replace.
Bind.
Binding implies proximity, intimacy, and intention. You may read that and think, “how does this practically apply to me?”
Because these drifting habits we have are normal, and God always knew we had that nature, which is why we NEED to be close to Him. In order to be tethered, we must be close.
God is not done with you. He has not closed the door or turned His back because you’ve wandered far. He is waiting, arms wide open, for you to come home.
Don’t let shame keep you from the love you were created for.
This week on The True North Podcast…
Have you ever felt like you love God… but you also keep running?
Like you know what’s true. You know where peace is. And yet somehow you still drift back to old patterns, old relationships, old mindsets — the ones that never actually satisfy?
In this episode, we’re talking about the wandering heart.
The part of us that confuses familiar with safe.
The part that goes looking for control, validation, freedom, or relief… and ends up feeling even more empty.
The part that wonders, “After everything I’ve done, can I even come back?”
If you’ve been feeling too far gone, too inconsistent, too ashamed, or just spiritually tired… this conversation is for you.
And no matter how far you think you’ve wandered, you are not beyond the reach of grace.Listen to the New Episode
Have a great rest of your week and thanks for being here!
Love, Mykah (and Nimbus)
